


offer me that deathless death

by stray_dog_sick



Series: harmonious symp(hony/athy) [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gen, Night of the Soul Chapter (Detroit: Become Human), Other characters mentioned - Freeform, just connors thoughts aint it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22389895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stray_dog_sick/pseuds/stray_dog_sick
Summary: 10 November 2038Connor felt nothing. He had expected that, when he became deviant, he would suddenly feel everything, but instead there was just a pit in his pseudo-stomach that made it hard for him to breathe. He almost felt like he wasn't even there at all, that Jericho had exploded with him still on it, but he remembered the shock of the cold from jumping into the Detroit River.
Series: harmonious symp(hony/athy) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606975
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	offer me that deathless death

**Author's Note:**

> did anyone expect anything more from me  
> anyway, a glimpse into a younger connor and his first thoughts towards markus
> 
> title from/inspired by 'take me to church' - hozier

Markus moved with a grace that made it easy for Connor to understand why the deviants followed him blindly. Every step looked confident, yet effortless, and Connor wouldn't be surprised if he saw Markus hovering an inch off the ground rather than walking at all.

Markus was checking on the other Jericho leaders, offering them comfort. Connor knew that the WR400 had been shot at, since he'd killed those FBI agents himself, and the others likely had too. It was natural for the four of them to be in shock, and to be grieving their people.

Connor felt nothing. He had expected that, when he became deviant, he would suddenly feel  _ everything _ , but instead there was just a pit in his pseudo-stomach that made it hard for him to breathe. He wasn't upset, or angry, or relieved. He almost felt like he wasn't even there at all, that Jericho had exploded with him still on it and this was the nothingness that deviants saw when they died. Android heaven.

No, he remembered the shock from jumping into the Detroit River. He'd heard that in dreams you couldn't feel pain, and he assumed that would carry into death too. It definitely hurt, hitting the icy water at a funny angle. It took him far too many seconds to remember how to swim, because he had never been cold before. Cold was the first thing he decided he did not like.

He could've avoided the whole thing, of course, if he'd just been less stubborn. Hank knew he was already deviant,  _ Kamski _ knew he was already deviant, he just refused to admit it to himself. If he'd been faster, reached Jericho without the FBI on his tail, just Hank who he knew would help…

There was a lot of blood on his hands today.

He knew Markus would want to talk to him, about deviancy and Jericho and whether he could be trusted. The other androids in the room were probably calling for his execution. He understood; he barely trusted himself either. He'd hurt so many, and really, could he be certain he actually was deviant? He'd always cared too much about Hank or gone against orders. Perhaps this was just how he was coded. Perhaps CyberLife wanted him to become deviant, created a tracker that wouldn't deactivate, and they were watching this through his eyes. 

He did not envy Markus at all right now. Judge, jury and executioner. He knew how it felt. He hoped Markus would be as kind as Connor had been to Chloe and the Traci's.

He risked a glance around the room to locate Markus again. He wasn't looking towards Connor, not yet, but plenty of other androids were. He could hear them if he listened close enough, whispering about how they didn't want him there. ' _ Deviant hunter' _ , they called him.  _ 'He killed our people,' _ they said.  _ 'If Markus doesn't kill him then I will.' _

He'd done exactly what he was created to do, just like the rest of them. It wasn't his fault that his intended purpose was destruction.

Connor couldn't decide if he wanted to be here. He didn't belong here and they clearly didn't want him, but where else could he go? He was a wanted man now. CyberLife would tear him apart the second he showed his face, send out Connor Model 53 as if nothing had happened. 

Maybe he could work with that though. Jericho's numbers were dwindling, but there were thousands of androids still inside CyberLife, ignorant of what was happening outside the tower's walls. Connor could get in, because there was no way they'd send him, their most advanced prototype yet, to a recycling centre. They would want to take him apart, search through every line of coding for their flaws. His riskiest mission yet, worse than jumping from rooftops onto a moving train or running across the automated highway, but better than staying here and doing nothing.

He was a dead man either way.


End file.
